Dearest Mama,
I want you to know that people are reading our letters and some of them are angry when ever we mention “Pappay” in our communications. My master called me the other day to tell me that I had some visitors outside. Ah, ah! Will you believe he did not tell me that they were screaming – some of them holding calabashes, old fish cans and mortar pestles. He said they had been writing on something he has at his office called, Blogs. My master is kwee. But here, they don't say kwee, they say "modern, sophisticated, updated," so he got kwee office and the Blog is a kwee people thing in his office, with some computers in the hall for people to use. He also did not tell that in their letters on his office Blogs, they were expressing anger about our letters: Dearest Mama. Apparently, the post office also called my master telling him that some people knock the head of the man who can bring the letters to the place I live. They thought he was the one writing you. I felt so sorry for the poor, innocent man but it was also funny – the man is bald, I mean the man got sarbu head, so you can imagine.
Let me tell you what happened when my master told me I had visitors standing against the office wall waiting for me. I did not go outside immediately, because I already had many things to complete- I was waiting for Toku to return my call about the palm oil and country beans. I also had to read and reply the many letters from the people in the yard you read my letter to, the post man was waiting for me. Ignorant me, after I did all that, I went to see the people waiting for me. Some of them got tired waiting and left messages in red paint on the walls; those still waiting were standing akimbo. I opened the door, but before could I run back inside, they grabbed me.
Someone knock my head with a old mashed up can, I heard the echo from the knock, another started pulling my hair, one person grabbed my leg and two persons tightened my hands and they slapped and punched, they also koncked my head Mama. Imagine, me, they slapped and punched my head- not one time, but so many times. I was trying to count the slapping and hitting but the guy with the bottle smelling with palm wine was about to bash my toes. When I saw the bottle coming, I gathered my thoughts, focused on what little strength I had to wriggle myself from those holding me. In that process of gathering my thoughts, I saw the lady with the mortar pestle. She had the pestle midway in the air, aimed for my head. I knew that my mind and my body had to work fast, faster than a comet, if I had to write you again. I jiggled with all my mind, my might and strength.The time span between when I waggled, setting my self free, and when the bottle and pestle landed where I was held, was less than a split second. The pestle shattered the bottle. Although the pestle broke, the pieces from the smashed bottle flew into the air and gashed those who attacked and assaulted me. I took advantage of the distraction caused by the shattered bottle; ran inside, bolted the gate, locked the door and hid behind the shelves inside the library.
I sat in there and got more angry and furious, not because of the slaps and hits, but that those people could actually be brave to knock my head. I remembered some of the things you said human beings should avoid doing and saying to others because, they are not only cruel, but they also humiliates and takes away the dignity of a person. Even if you hate someone, or was in the process of killing a person, every human being dignity should be protected and preserved, you always said. That is a really wise saying Mama. Over the years, and throughout the years I have been away from you, I have come to value more and more your counsel. I really do understand and believe that anyone who really strips a person of their dignity, also take away their own dignity - whether they realize it at that point or not, that is the truth. One of such things you warned against was, using the feet to kick a person in the buttock. You said such action indicates a total disregard; it signifies hatred and it is demeaning and more agonizing than being pierced with a sword. Although, you spoke against deliberately using set of fingers to hit someone on the head, you did not go indepth on that, as you did other issues, I feel it morally hurts than it does physically. That is why I was so angry when they folded few sets of fingers and hit me on the head with their knuckles.
Mama, the effects and implications of all of these things you told me about human dignity, and the importance of allowing others to live a simple dignified life are things I do value. Respect others is easy to say, but so difficult to maintain particularly during disagreements, angers and when the environment and air within which negatives vices are carried are becoming dominant. As I thought about all of the beautiful things you taught us, and remembered what had just occured outside, I felt my chest go up and down, and in such forceful manner. Thank God my master was far away. I would have probably … let me not say anything because he might also read this letter, or someone will tell him, but I was angry that he hid the emotions expressed by those who intercepted our communication, and did not find the content favorable.
Mama, I was sitting in that library perplexed by all the lies those people were saying about me while they punched me like a bag. Me, wanted Pappay to give me a ‘chance,” I laughed. It was so funny; it is almost like seeking punishment. Well, just as those people were making those false accusations, there were others defending me. Well, that is why the kwee people say, “Ignorance is a disease.” Some of those people are purely ignorant and when someone is ignorant, it is a tough one.
Sometimes I say I rather deal with a insane person than someone who is stupid. You can cure a crazy person, but it is a tough one trying to get a stupid person to be clever. There are also those who are just envious. As for those filled with sheer envy, you said that they are the worse enemies any human being can have. You do good for them, they envy you, you ignore them they pursue you. That's because, they are possessed by the demon of envy. “Stay free of those who envy you Musue,” I remembered you always pleaded with me. You also said that there was no cure to envy unless that person conscious pricks them. How do you determine whether that person's conscious has revived, is another question. Beside, they say that when someone has been possessed, there is always a possibility that they will revisit the land of evil. The problem is determining whether someone is consumed by envy, because such people hide their claws, but like Zobbarg said, “The red flag shoots out at certain times during your interaction with such people. Don’t ignore the red flag,” Zobbard always warned.
If our village doesn’t try to do something about the level of ignorance and the attitude of resentment within that society, we will always have this problem of confusion, assaults which are instigated by falsehoods, poverty, underdevelopment and almost all the ills that will continue to destroy us. It is for this same reason that many good people don’t want to go home to help build our clan. I saw Dr. Darkumu last week. The man knows book, and on top of that he knows so many of the kwee people who want to help our village, but Darkumu said he will not go back. He said that he has built his reputation and will not go to our village just for some people to destroy his credibility. Mama, I don't blame Darkum for refusing to return. Remember what you said, “When good name spoilt, it is hard to clean it.” Who really want to spoil their name when you know that it is your heart beat. After all the struggle, just to learn this kwee people book; I havn't had the time to "go outing," as they call dancing and other fun thing here, then in the name of trying to help my people, my name and my credibility will be pulled down the drain because I refused to give someone a cut in the budget for providing clean water, or the project to help the sick children. If I refuse to give the person what they want, I'll lose my job, if I give the person what they want, the projects for the people will not be completed, in addition, I mortage my integrity. No Way!
I remembered before I left the village, you called me, “Mamusue” I loved it when you called me that way or Mamus. You called me that day and said, “you are going to the world now, remember that you come from this village and we are walking with you’. I told you, “Mama, I am going out there, and with your blessings, the blessings of Poppa and the people of our village, I will bring honor and glory to your name and our people.” I am still holding on to that promise Mama, and I am praying that in whatever I do, I fulfill a part of that promise.
Mama, it is in fulfillment of a part of that promise that I am writing this letter for us to talk about all the important things in our village, all that have happened in our village; all that is happening in our village and to our people. So many of our people died, they were killed, but not just killed, they were humiliated, and then killed cruelly. We can not allow their spirits to be wandering in pain. We can help them to lie peacefully where ever they were buried; help them for their bones to rest, by knowing what really happened to them. So, I will still ask Pappay about some of those people. I will also ask Pappay if he in any way feels that he made some wrong choices and decisions. Moreover, I will also continue to look at some of the situations in our village, ask the old women and old men and the children about what they really want. I will let them talk about what is hurting them because they have to take out what is in their hearts if we can all live together as one people again. If these people, our people don’t express themselves, we will not be able to dance again like we used to before all this trouble started.
I heard that Old man Tonia took out his horn and his wife MaThelma came out with her salsa, they played for long hours walking around the village, hoping that people will come out to dance, but no one came out to dance like we used to do before. Instead people just stood at their doors and windows looking at Old man Tonia and MaThelma like they were strangers. The reason is people are sad, hungry, angry, poor, homeless and tired. We must allow them to talk, allow them to speak, if not, they will die again and again, and again, so many times before they actually inhale and exhale their last breath. My heart cries out for our people; people who were independent, but now they have to wait for handouts!
Write me soon Mama, and I am glad people are reading our letters because it gives them the opportunity to express themselves too, but it doesn't give them the right to not to knock my head.
always,
Musue
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